He has decided. The case is closed. Pushing back makes him dig in harder. This is the Opinion Entrenchment pattern. The goal is not to change his mind in one conversation. The goal is to keep the conversation open so something can shift over time.
Practical Techniques
Try to Understand Before You Argue
Ask before you push. Say: “What is the main thing that matters to you about this?” or “What experience put you there?” You are not agreeing. You are mapping the ground. That information helps you more than another argument.
Find What You Actually Agree On
Look for the shared part. Say: “I think we both want the project to succeed. We just see different routes to it.” Starting from shared ground makes disagreement less personal. Two people looking at the same problem from different sides.
Know When to Pause
Some conversations do not move that day. Say: “I do not think we are going to settle this right now. Can we leave it here and come back to it?” That is not giving up. That is giving the idea time to sit.
Why This Works
Entrenched views come from experience, not stubbornness. He has held this position because it worked. Direct challenge activates defense. Understanding his reasons, and finding shared ground, lowers the temperature. Change is more likely when no one is defending.
Not Every Opinion Needs Engaging
Pick your battles. Some views are not worth a long fight. Others matter. Know the difference before you start.