You told him Tuesday at dinner. By Friday, he has no memory of it. The appointment, the plan, the decision: gone. This is the Selective Hearing pattern. One channel is not enough. Important information needs more than one path to reach him.
Practical Techniques
Say It, Then Write It
Talk first. The conversation lets you check for questions and adjust.
After the conversation, send a short written summary. A text works. An email works. Keep it brief.
Say: “Just confirming what we talked about: appointment Thursday at 2, I’ll pick you up.” He now has a record. So do you.
Do not frame the summary as a test. Frame it as a note.
Use a Visual Anchor
A calendar entry, a note on the fridge, a shared list on his phone: any of these give him a second chance to see the information.
For anything time-sensitive, put it on a calendar. Tell him you added it. He does not have to search for it.
For plans with multiple steps, write the steps in order. A list is harder to misremember than a spoken paragraph.
For decisions that really matter, use a sequence:
- Discuss it in person.
- Follow up in writing with the key point and date.
- Add a calendar reminder for a day before.
- A brief check-in closer to the date: “Reminder: Thursday 2 p.m.”
Each step catches a gap. Most information survives two steps. Complex or time-sensitive information needs all four.
Why This Works
Spoken words disappear. A text does not. A calendar entry sits in his line of sight. Repetition through different channels is not nagging. It is the information reaching him in a form he will notice.
Match the Channel to the Person
Pick channels he already uses. A shared Google Calendar works if he checks it. A note on his desk works if he sees his desk. Do not introduce a new tool and expect him to adopt it.