He has been doing this for thirty years. He has seen cycles, crises, and recoveries. He knows things that are not written down anywhere. That knowledge is real. Acknowledging it specifically changes how the conversation goes.
Practical Techniques
Name a specific past success
Generic praise does not land. A specific reference does.
Say: “Your approach to the 2008 merger is exactly what we need here.”
He knows you were paying attention. Contrast that with “your years of experience are so valuable,” which is a category, not an observation. Categories feel like filler.
Ask a question that uses his experience
Frame the question around what he has actually seen.
Say: “You have been through several of these cycles. What are you noticing this time?”
This is not a quiz. This is consultation. He can tell the difference. Ask the real question.
Name the insight out loud
When he says something that only experience could produce, say so.
Say: “That is the kind of thing you only see after doing this for a long time.”
This is an observation, not a compliment. Observations are harder to wave away than praise.
Why This Works
The Need for Respect is partly about investment being visible. He spent decades on this. When you reference something specific, you prove you noticed. Vague praise does not prove that. It proves you were in the room.
The Difference Between Specific and Flattery
Specific acknowledgment works. Blanket praise does not. “You’re so wise” reads as flattery. “You called that six months before anyone else did” reads as recognition. One is about him in the abstract. The other is about something real.