He heard your problem. He launched into solutions. You needed someone to listen first.
That gap is the Fixer Mode pattern. He is wired to help by fixing. You needed something different. Neither of you was wrong. The mismatch was the problem.
Practical Techniques
Say What You Need First
Tell him before you start. He cannot read the room on this one.
Say: “I need to vent. Can you just listen for a few minutes? I’ll ask for advice when I’m ready.”
That one sentence prevents most of the frustration. He gets a clear job. He can do that job.
Acknowledge the Fix, Then Redirect
He will still jump in sometimes. When he does, don’t fight it.
Say: “That’s a good idea. Before we solve it, can you help me figure out how I feel about this first?”
You validate his instinct. You stay on track.
Split the Conversation in Two
Tell him the structure before you start.
Say: “Can we do this in two parts? First part, you just listen. Second part, we fix it.”
He likes a clear structure. This one works for both of you.
Why This Works
He switches to fix mode fast. It is automatic. Naming what you need before he starts gives him a different job. He just needs to know what it is.
If He Keeps Ignoring What You Ask
These techniques work when he tries. If he consistently ignores your stated need, that is a different problem. A conversation about the pattern itself is then overdue.