Creating Flexible Spaces

When someone shows strong territorial behavior around specific spaces or seating (a key aspect of the Chair Power pattern), it can create friction in shared environments. This page offers practical strategies for sharing space with territorial people while maintaining harmony and respect.

Practical Techniques

Technique 1: Establish Clear Zone Definitions

Create explicit understanding about shared versus personal spaces:

Discuss and formally agree on which areas are “communal” versus “personal”
Consider creating a simple map or list of these agreements for clarity
Establish basic protocols for using each other’s designated spaces
Revisit these agreements periodically as needs change

This technique reduces ambiguity that can lead to territorial conflicts.

Technique 2: Create Equivalent Comfort Zones

Develop multiple appealing spaces rather than competing for one:

Create a second comfortable chair/space with similar amenities
Ensure each person has their own “prime spot” with preferred features
Balance resource distribution (lighting, view, temperature, etc.) across spaces
Consider rotating prime locations for activities if appropriate

This approach ensures everyone has access to comfortable space without direct competition.

Technique 3: Practice Respectful Territory Management

Develop habits that acknowledge spatial preferences:

Ask permission before using someone’s established space
Return borrowed spaces to their original configuration
Give advance notice when shared space will be needed
Express appreciation when territory is shared

These practices honor territorial needs while encouraging flexibility.

Why These Approaches Work

These techniques work because they:

Acknowledge the legitimate human need for personal space and control
Create clarity that prevents unintentional boundary crossing
Establish reciprocal respect rather than competing claims
Balance individual preferences with shared living/working needs

Remember Boundaries

While working with territorial tendencies is important, extreme territorial behavior that significantly impacts others’ comfort may require more direct conversation about fair space allocation.

Additional Considerations

Territory needs often increase during times of stress or change
Physical environments can be designed to reduce territorial conflicts
Cultural and family backgrounds influence expectations about personal space
As we age, familiar spaces often become more important for comfort and security

50Guide