Spotting Interrupting Pattern in the Wild
You might recognize the Interrupting Pattern when:
- Conversations consistently involve speaking over others before they’ve completed their thoughts or sentences.
- There’s a frequent tendency to finish others’ sentences (sometimes inaccurately) or complete their stories for them.
- Corrections of minor details or tangential additions interrupt the flow of someone else’s narrative or explanation.
- The interrupter often seems unaware of the pattern or minimizes its impact if pointed out.
- Conversations shift topics abruptly based on the interrupter’s interests or associations, rather than flowing naturally from the previous speaker’s point.
- Others in the conversation begin speaking more rapidly or louder to get points in before an anticipated interruption.
- Discussion dynamics show a clear imbalance in speaking time and the ability for individuals to fully articulate their thoughts.
- When pointed out, the pattern may temporarily improve but unconsciously resumes shortly after.
This pattern is particularly noticeable and impactful in group settings where multiple people are attempting to contribute to a discussion.
Decoding the Pattern: What Might Be Happening?
Interrupting Pattern typically emerges from several underlying factors, often unconsciously:
Potential Drivers
- Need for Relevance: Interrupting can stem from anxiety about having one’s thoughts heard, valued, and included before the moment passes or the topic shifts.
- Need for Respect: Correcting information or adding details quickly may be perceived by the interrupter as a way to demonstrate knowledge, establish credibility, and gain acknowledgment.
- Control Response: Directing the conversation flow through interruption can create a sense of control over the interaction’s pace, topic, and direction.
- Thought Pattern Differences: Some individuals process ideas rapidly and associatively, making connections that feel urgent to express before the thought is lost or the context changes. Enthusiasm can override turn-taking norms.
This pattern is commonly observed in The Expert and The Patriarch types, who may unconsciously prioritize their contributions or perspective due to confidence or established roles.
Navigating Interrupting Pattern
Understanding this pattern suggests several approaches for fostering more balanced conversation:
- Direct But Gentle Naming: In the moment, use phrases like “Hold on, I’d like to finish my thought before moving on” or “Can I just complete this point?” to create awareness without accusation.
- Conversation Structure: In meetings or structured discussions, explicitly agree upon turn-taking rules or use a talking stick/moderator to manage flow.
- Reflective Feedback (Later): In a calm moment, share your experience: “I’ve noticed in our conversations, we often end up speaking over each other. I sometimes feel I don’t get to finish my points. How do you experience this?” This opens collaborative problem-solving.
- Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and appreciate instances when the person actively waits and listens fully (“Thanks for letting me finish, I appreciate that”).
- Written Alternatives: For complex or crucial exchanges where clarity is paramount, consider written formats (email, shared docs) where interruption isn’t possible.
For more detailed strategies for navigating this pattern, see these tips:
While the Interrupting Pattern can feel disrespectful, invalidating, and frustrating, it’s frequently an unconscious habit rooted in conversational style, thinking patterns, or underlying needs rather than deliberate disregard for others. By understanding the potential drivers and addressing the pattern directly but non-judgmentally, focusing on shared goals for better communication, more balanced and productive conversations can develop over time. This pattern sometimes connects with Experience Shield, as both can represent ways of asserting authority or relevance within a conversation.
